Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
