girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I want her autograph on my taint
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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