Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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