I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
