12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
