You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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