i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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