I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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