hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
