I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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