Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
