LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
