brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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