she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
third nipple confirmed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
