Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Pooping to opera.
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