I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Green mimosas i think yes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
