The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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