It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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