Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't turn off my feet"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
