I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
