dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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