His pubic hair was longer than his dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
