if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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