I murdered the dance floor call the cops
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
