So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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