This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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