I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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