I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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