Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
