this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
