garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is wine microwaveable?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
