I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
