we have officially lost it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
two words...techno handjob
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
