i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
