Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
