Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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