Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
