We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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