Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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