I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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