I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
