Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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