Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
