I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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