I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
