I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
