I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
this just has baby written all over it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
