you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
