I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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