I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
