I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
