OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
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Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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