I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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