He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
