I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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