I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
