I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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