the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
