he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
