I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize