he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
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The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
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The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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