Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
